Before inquiring about others' well-being, let's first check in with ourselves, especially when faced with their expressions and the weight of their lives.
After a conversation with a colleague or acquaintance, we might find ourselves replaying the interaction, wondering if we said something wrong or if we might have offended them. We carefully consider their subtle expressions, trying not to cause any harm. However, when our attention is solely focused on others' reactions, we may lose sight of our own emotional state.
1. Pausing to Reflect on a Fleeting Expression
After a conversation with a colleague or acquaintance, we might find ourselves replaying the interaction, wondering if we said something wrong or if we might have offended them. We carefully consider their subtle expressions, trying not to cause any harm. However, when our attention is solely focused on others' reactions, we may lose sight of our own emotional state.
When we expend all our energy trying to understand others' emotions, the energy we need to sustain ourselves throughout the day quietly diminishes. Trying to connect with others' feelings at the expense of our own well-being can become a heavy burden disguised as consideration.
2. Questions About Manageable Responsibility and Boundaries
Conversely, when we observe the actions of those around us, we might feel anxious, thinking, "They shouldn't be doing that," or "How are they going to cope?" This can lead to a desire to intervene in their choices. While this stems from a concern for their well-being, it also prompts us to ask ourselves: "Can I take full responsibility for their actions and outcomes?"
The pressure of feeling responsible for every subtle expression of others, or the urge to correct their choices, can easily exceed our capacity. If we try to take on more than we can handle without first considering our own limits, both our relationships and ourselves will quickly become exhausted.

3. Respecting Each Other's Roles and Maintaining a Healthy Distance
The colleagues and acquaintances we interact with are all individuals with their own thoughts and plans. Even if their choices seem precarious to us, there may be underlying reasons and considerations that we are not aware of. If we cannot fully take responsibility for their actions, it is important to allow them to make their own choices without unnecessary judgment.
This does not mean that we should coldly ignore or distance ourselves from others. Rather, it means acknowledging that they are individuals who are capable of thinking for themselves and making their own decisions, and maintaining a respectful distance that allows them to do so.
4. Caring for Ourselves by First Checking in with Our Own Hearts
Just as a tree must grow strong in order to provide shade for others, we must first be well in order to maintain healthy relationships. Before trying to understand others' feelings and situations, it is important to take a moment to ask ourselves, "Am I living the kind of day I want to live?" and "Is my heart at peace?"
Stepping back from others' expectations, taking a moment to rest, and setting boundaries when faced with overwhelming burdens are not signs of weakness. Taking care of our own well-being is a precious right that allows us to live a healthy and fulfilling life without constantly depleting ourselves.
5. A Gentle Balance That Sustains Both Ourselves and Others
There is no need to lose ourselves in trying to understand others' expressions, nor is there a need to take on more than we can handle. By taking care of our own responsibilities and allowing others to live at their own pace, we can create relationships that are mutually beneficial.
It is okay to release the tension of constantly trying to please others and instead focus on our own well-being. By maintaining a gentle balance between ourselves and others, we can find the strength to move forward without becoming exhausted.
Questions you may be holding
- What is the most important message in this editorial?
- The colleagues and acquaintances we interact with are all individuals with their own thoughts and plans. Even if their choices seem precarious to us, there may be underlying reasons and considerations that we are not aware of. If we cannot fully take responsibility for their actions, it is important to allow them to make their own choices without unnecessary judgment.
- What is one gentle thing I can try today?
- Just as a tree must grow strong in order to provide shade for others, we must first be well in order to maintain healthy relationships. Before trying to understand others' feelings and situations, it is important to take a moment to ask ourselves, "Am I living the kind of day I want to live?" and "Is my heart at peace?"