Even after the day is over, your mind may still feel restless. Although work is finished, you check social media, feel as though you should keep up with what others are doing, and remain tense so you do not make a mistake. Even while resting, you keep moving in search of something better.

In this way, we move back and forth between two modes. One is the mode of pursuing new stimulation and achievement; the other is the mode of avoiding danger, failure, and the possibility of being disliked. Both modes have their own reasons. We have kept moving because we wanted to stay ahead and because we did not want to get hurt. So if you are tired now, instead of blaming yourself, you might quietly consider whether you have been living in tension and pursuit for too long.

Pausing Does Not Mean Falling Behind

The video discusses an “being mode” that allows us to step away from these two modes for a while. It is a time to look at where you are now, without trying to gain more or eliminate every risk. Reclaiming control of your life is less about making a grand resolution and more about making small acknowledgments like this.

Notice what you have been pursuing today and what you have been avoiding. You do not have to find an answer immediately or change your life. You are simply giving yourself a brief pause from moving on autopilot.

Let Your Worth Be More Than Your Achievements

We may have learned to change and hide parts of ourselves in order to be loved and accepted. The quiet belief that we must achieve more to be accepted, or that we will be rejected if we make a mistake, may still remain. As a result, there are times when we strive not for the joy of achievement but for the relief it brings.

Having that belief does not mean you are weak or flawed. It may be evidence of a pattern that has protected you through years of repetition. But now you can step away from that pattern for a moment and ask yourself: If I let go of everyone else’s expectations, what kind of life do I want to live?

Today’s Oasis

Time like an oasis is not time spent accomplishing a long list of special activities. It is time spent speaking to yourself in a warm voice. Telling yourself that you do not have to be perfect, that it is okay to move a little more slowly, and that it is okay to pause for a while.

You do not need to put everything down today. You can simply take in one less source of stimulation and set aside one worry for a while. In that brief choice, you can meet yourself again—the self who can exist without having to prove anything.