There are times when you find yourself unusually preoccupied with one person’s reactions at work, in a laboratory, or within a long-standing group. Some people drive wedges between others, while others take turns making each person seem inadequate. Though these behaviors may appear to be minor comments or requests on the surface, over time they can leave the entire group anxious and wary of one another.

Those caught in the middle often ask themselves, “Did I do something wrong? Am I being too sensitive?” But if you became a target even though you stayed out of the way, that does not mean it was your fault. Acknowledging that you can be isolated even when you have done nothing wrong creates room to stop blaming yourself.

You Do Not Have to Keep Trying to Explain the Anxiety

Some relationships improve when you try to help the other person understand and make a good impression. But with certain people, making others feel intimidated and anxious can seem more important than resolving the situation. In such moments, continuing to explain yourself and trying to respond perfectly may only leave you more exhausted.

Have important conversations in ways that leave a record, such as text messages or email, and consider briefly writing down what happened. This is not documentation intended to attack anyone. It is a small point of reference to help you avoid questioning yourself later by asking, “Did I imagine all of this?”

You Are Not Alone When You Have Even One Person

There may be times when you cannot leave that workplace or group immediately. If so, instead of trying to win everyone’s approval, it is enough to start by finding one person who understands what is happening. Even if they do not actively fight on your behalf, having someone acknowledge that “something about that was wrong” can help you confirm that you are not misperceiving reality.

Conversely, in an atmosphere where someone is being unfairly pushed out, you may be able to become that one person for them. It does not have to be a grand act of solidarity. You can begin by quietly asking how they are, remembering the facts as they happened, and offering your presence so they do not have to bear everything alone.

Leaving Can Also Be a Way of Caring for Yourself in a Relationship

Enduring every relationship to the very end is not necessarily a mature attitude. If a relationship repeatedly divides people, exploits anxiety, and keeps making you feel small, choosing to step outside it can also be a choice to protect your life. When you cannot leave, it is enough to begin by adjusting your distance, limiting what you share, and building a record and a support network.

You do not have to reach a conclusion right now. Today, try writing down what you experienced in one sentence and sharing only the facts with one trusted person. Sometimes, that small a choice is enough to recover the feeling that “I may not be the strange one.” You do not have to take responsibility for the entire atmosphere.